Colic: Ways for Mommy and Daddy to Cope
This article is for general informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This article has not been medically reviewed. Sources are not a substitute for qualified medical review. Always consult your doctor or midwife about your specific situation. Read our full medical disclaimer.
Colic is one of those words that gets thrown around long before parents fully understand what it means, usually right when they're at their most exhausted. Broadly, it's used to describe frequent, prolonged crying in an otherwise healthy baby, often worse in the evenings, without an obvious cause like hunger or a wet diaper. It's common, it's not anyone's fault, and it does tend to pass.
What colic generally is (and isn't)
Colic isn't a specific disease with a single known cause — it's more of a pattern description. Because persistent crying can occasionally have an identifiable underlying cause, it's worth having your pediatrician evaluate your baby rather than assuming it's "just colic" on your own.
It typically shows up in the first few weeks of life, often peaks around six weeks, and tends to ease up by three to four months for many babies. That timeline can feel unbearably long in the moment, but it is, for most families, temporary.
Things that sometimes help during a crying spell
No single technique works for every baby, and that's genuinely frustrating when you're in the middle of it. Commonly tried options include:
- Gentle motion — rocking, walking, or a car ride
- White noise or a consistent low hum
- Swaddling snugly, if your baby seems to like it
- Changing position — upright against your shoulder, or a gentle tummy-down hold across your arm
- A warm bath
- Simply setting the baby down safely in the crib for a few minutes if you need to step away and reset
If nothing seems to help and the crying feels unusually intense, or is paired with fever, poor feeding, vomiting, or reduced wet diapers, contact your pediatrician rather than assuming it's ordinary colic.
Coping as parents, not just as caregivers
The advice above is about the baby. This part is about you.
- Trade off in short shifts. Even 20 minutes of not being the one holding a crying baby can reset your patience for the next stretch.
- It's okay to put the baby down and step away. If you feel your frustration spiking and no one else is available, setting the baby down safely in the crib and stepping into another room for a few minutes is a legitimate, safe coping strategy — never shake a crying baby.
- Talk to each other honestly about how hard it is. Colic stretches are a common source of tension between partners, mostly because everyone is running on no sleep. Naming that out loud tends to help more than pretending you're fine.
- Ask for help before you're at your limit, not after. A friend, relative, or postpartum doula covering even one evening can matter more than it sounds like it would.
- Remember this is a phase, not a preview of parenting forever. It rarely feels that way at 2 a.m., but colic does resolve for the vast majority of babies.
Key Takeaways
- Colic describes a crying pattern, not a diagnosis — get persistent crying checked by a pediatrician
- It typically eases by three to four months for most babies
- No single soothing technique works universally; trying several is normal
- If you feel overwhelmed, setting the baby down safely and stepping away is a legitimate coping strategy
- Colic is not caused by anything you did as a parent
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is colic a sign something is medically wrong with my baby?
- Usually not — colic is generally considered a description of excessive crying in an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, not a diagnosis of an underlying condition. Still, your pediatrician should evaluate persistent crying to rule out other causes.
- Does colic mean I'm doing something wrong as a parent?
- No. Colic isn't caused by parenting choices, and there's no reliable evidence it reflects anything you did or didn't do. It's exhausting, but it isn't your fault.
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